Peter

My Bible readings this week have been in the 'tail end' of John's Gospel.  John 21:3 quotes Peter making the announcement, "I'm going fishing."  When he did so he, and the others who followed him, met the risen Jesus by the lakeside.  I've being imagining how he must have been feeling at that time.  

Pretty high in his thoughts, I imagine, were two incidents from recent days.  While they were at supper, he'd sworn his devotion to Jesus: "Even if all fall away on account of you, never will. ... Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you."  But then, just hours later, he fulfilled what Jesus had told him in that exchange, "This very night, before the cock crows, you will disown me three times." (Matthew 26:33-35).

Let me relate an incident from over 40 years ago.  These were critical times: information was always wanted yesterday; decisions, important decisions, had to be made.  I had been asked to prepare something urgently but, to my shame, I had my own agenda.  There were a number of daily or weekly tasks I would prefer to get off my desk first.  A short while later, an enquiry how the job was going revealed that I was about to start on it.

It wasn't the first time this sort of thing had happened.  I guess I didn't properly realise the urgency of matters: saw them only from my own point of view.  Later that day, when the immediate panic had passed, I was ushered into the conference room where, in a one-to one exchange that still fills me with fear as I recall it, my boss confronted me with the stark fact that, if I didn't buck my ideas up, I would be out of a job.

This certainly had the desired effect.  I suddenly realised that others depended on me.  I had a wife and small children at home, how would they cope if I were sacked?  I couldn't even tell her about this threat ... and never did.  I just made sure it never happened again.  Every time the boss came through the office, I was doing the right thing.  Priorities were adjusted.  I didn't dare look up at him, unless spoken to.

That morning by the lake, Peter didn't recognise Jesus at first.  How would he behave toward Jesus?  Would it be the same as I did to my boss all those years ago?  When he saw it was Jesus, his work level increased, we're told: he put his coat on and leapt into the water.  How did Jesus react to Peter?  Was it in a way that Peter might have feared, after proving that his vow of support was worthless?  What came was love, care, and more responsibility.

Nothing we can do can make Jesus love us more - or less - than He does already.